"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Randomize
