I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize