the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
