Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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