Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
