Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
we're making bets on your personal life
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
