i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
