Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just pee around me
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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