Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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