she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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