So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
