We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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