he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
false alarm, still single
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize