in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
