he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
