I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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