True but thats because hes a fetus.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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