Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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