I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
