I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
