I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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