I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
