you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
