just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
How does one acquire holy water?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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