OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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