dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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