Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
