Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
