The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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