just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
