I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
