Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
