please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
