i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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