I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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