We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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