really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
