While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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