please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
