I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
