i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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