Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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