dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
