My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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