I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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