So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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