Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
