I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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