I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
