i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
