SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
