All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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