this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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