Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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