still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
