he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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