I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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