I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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