i just google imaged poop.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
