my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
