Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
birth control should be required to get into college
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm both gender and math confused
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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