so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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