I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize