I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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