there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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