fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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