no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So much Jack, so little girl.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
