On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
