sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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