Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
