Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
