a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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